• Deborah Charles-Nelson

'Things I'm still learning...'


It's been a minute since I've sat down to write, and, to be honest, I think most of us are all still processing everything that happened last year. It was one of those 'iconic' years that we'll tell our children about. To name a few pivotal moments for me: a whole PANDEMIC for starters, then the #endSARS movement, the #BLM movement, the passing of Chadwick Boseman... so much loss, but also some incredible highs for me regarding work, passion projects and family life.

Okay, so, it's kind of become a tradition of mine to write down my 'end-of-year-thoughts' in a letter to you all, detailing and fleshing out in word-form what that year has taught me. And it usually goes up just before the years up, but, to be honest, I haven't felt like I had the words to narrate how I've truly felt. All I know is that it has been a mixture of beautiful, mind-blowing moments of gratitude, wrapped within moments of so much uncertainty and mental struggling. But here we are, about two weeks into this new year (2021) and I'm finally attempting to write. So, here are a few things I've learnt (and I guess still learning) from 2020...

Release the idea that you can control everything.

This is not an easy concept – actually it's very far from it. I think for a lot of us, whether we want to admit it to ourselves or not, being in control gives us the feeling of security. And that's NORMAL, because it gives us a sense of comfort to know what's happening next.

I read this in a recent article, which said:

"Human beings have a deep-seated desire for certainty and control. ... That is, the more in control we feel, the more efficacious we feel about achieving the outcomes we desire, and this sense of competence boosts well-being"

But if there was ever a more pertinent lesson of 2020, it's that we make our own plans and God truly has His. When we finally release that control, we also take that pressure away because it no longer solely up to us to get everything perfect. With that said, a few mantras for 2021 come to mind:

"Let go and trust God's plan and timing for your life", and be "grateful for the little things." And this segues perfectly onto my next point...

Growth over perfection. This is something I'm still learning and trying my absolute best to work through. Perfection does not exist, and this is something I literally have to scream at myself when I get in my own head to think myself out of something that I haven't even attempted yet! Can anyone else relate?

Mindset is everything. I've said it before and I'll say it again, but manifestation is everything! When you believe in yourself enough, it really can happen. Write it down, get specific about what you want and trust me you'll get there. It may not be quick or easy, but it'll be worth it.

Listen to your body. This one is so, so important and honestly 'burnout' is so REAL! I saw a quote that said,

"if you're tired of giving up, learn how to rest, not quit." And this is something I really try to do nowadays. And (just being fully transparent here) I fail at this at times, and don't always listen to my body when I need rest. But in order to give the best of ourselves, we have to be full. Full up on self-love, self-belief and a commitment to not give up on your vision!

There's beauty on the other side of an 'ugly' process. Boy did 2020 teach me this! It was a year that brought so much to light! It unveiled wounds we didn't know we still needed healing from. It exposed the real state of humanity, especially regarding race and privilege, and now with a pandemic has shown us that life is too painfully short not to treasure the beauty of just living! Living in the moment! Being fully present and simply enjoying the process of becoming...

Praying that this year we be fruitful and blessed, regardless of the twists and turns.

Love and Light, Simply Deborah XO @simplydeborah