• Deborah Charles-Nelson

'The Fourth Trimester'

Hi Lovelies, and welcome back (or Hey! if you're new around here). I’m sure you can imagine, the last few weeks (seven to be exact) have been a bit of a blur. And adjusting to being a mum of two, to put it frankly, has been somewhat of a shock to the system! Don't get me wrong, with all the madness is a lot of precious, beautiful moments but a little crazy nonetheless! Lol


Okay, so to begin our catch up session let's start with how our baby boy Noah is sleeping!

SLEEP ROUTINES:

Well to start off and just keeping it 100% transparent, there hasn't really been a defined schedule at the moment so I use the term 'routine' very loosely lol. Me and hubby are still finding our feet in that department as we navigate being parents of two-- but we are getting there!

For the most part, Noah has been a pretty good sleeper (well as good as it gets for a newborn). But what I will say is that came along with the need to be held constantly throughout the night! So for the first few nights hubby and I worked shifts with him sleeping on us. But yes you guessed it, that got tiresome real quick! and with Jason resuming work after paternity leave I knew that this was just a temporary solution that couldn't really continue.

Fast forward a week or so, maybe God heard my prayers lol, but just before Jason was to return back to work we managed to get him to start sleeping longer stretches in his Next-To-Me crib. And now he goes a full stretch of about 4-5 hours which has been amazing!

So our sleep 'routine' usually goes like this;

  • He'll have a feed once we've got Ethan to bed for the evening.

  • Hubby and I will then have a little down time (right now we're watching The Apprentice and This is Us) before I nurse Noah to sleep with a final feed before we all go to bed.

  • Then it's the night feed around 3/4am (the hardest part) and then he'll go back down for another three hours before his brother bursts into the room to wake us all up! lol

Right now that's the sequence of events that's been somewhat working for us, but I'm sure I'll update you soon if it changes!

MY RECOVERY/POSTPARTUM BODY:

The first few days I expected to be quite tearful with all the hormones etc. but I think having a toddler and a newborn to take care of I haven't even stopped enough to feel those feelings. Thankfully, I've had a lot less pain and minimal swelling compared to my first birth-- probably because my labour wasn't traumatic this time around and I didn't experience any tearing.


Apart from the night sweats, the after-labour pains whilst breastfeeding, the sore nipples and constipation!--- yes a bit crazy but as expected from my previous postpartum experience--- one thing that has got to me a little has been the slow recovery of my back pain. I suffered with SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction aka pregnancy-related pelvic pain) during my pregnancy with Noah and it just hasn't fully recovered yet which has been quite frustrating because it's meant that it's delayed my hopes of getting back into the gym. I do have a doctor's appointment scheduled in soon so I'll mention it then and I'm glad that I've at least been able to do my walking which is a huge improvement to my last recovery where I could barely sit down comfortably for weeks.

The 4th trimester is a wild ride-- but as crazy and as cliché as it sounds I would go through it all again to have him!

ADJUSTING TO BEING A BIG BROTHER:

So the very first day Ethan met Noah the reaction was a little underwhelming lol. He was tired from a long day at nursery, we had to get him bathed and clean before seeing his newborn brother (especially with the whole pandemic situation) so you can imagine the reaction was just a little meh...lol

But after that Ethan has been so sweet to Noah, it's actually been pretty beautiful to watch. He's always giving him kisses, asking to hold him, saying "sorry sorry baby" when he cries and trying (most times not really succeeding) to be gentle with him.


BALANCING TWO:

It's definitely been challenging trying to divide my time between both my boys, and Noah has a lot more of my attention at the moment especially when breastfeeding. But I try my best to include Ethan as much as I can and I have remember 'my best is good enough'.

Another hurdle has been the nursery run. I won't lie to you, doing it with a newborn has been a little 'nuts' and Noah literally screams every time the car stops. I've had journeys where I've stopped the car multiple times and parked up to nurse/calm him down but the best advice I can honestly give is: "it's just for a season" and if having Ethan taught me anything is that it really does get easier.


PARENTING 101 & TIPS:

It's definitely been a divide and conquer situation in our house, which has been working for us. And I think going forward this is how it'll be for a while; each of us focusing on one of the children and then swapping over.

Lastly, if I can tell you just one thing it'll be to: accept help and don't try and play the martyr! (I learnt this the hard way with Ethan) Our families have been a huge blessing and when you have two kids the help is very much welcomed with open arms!

"If I was to try and sum up my journey so far, I'll say it's been a mixture of emotions: tired, a little overwhelmed at times, mostly winging it but overall so incredibly in love and so grateful for my boys!

I think you're pretty much all caught up now but do let me know if there's anything that you want a little more insight into. I'm still working on finishing up my labour and delivery post so keep an eye out for that one!

Sending love and light to whoever needs it right now!


Love always,

Simply Deborah

XOXO