Hey Lovelies, and welcome back (or Hey! if you're new around here).
This is one of those blogposts that wasn't really scheduled. I didn't have a perfectly thought out idea for it, and it wasn't one that I had to force just to get over that dreaded 'writer's block' (although it did take me forever to finish). This one literally just came to me. I woke up at around 7am on Tuesday 30th June with it on my mind, and felt compelled to share...
"Stay focused on the vision, remember your 'why' – but give yourself permission to evolve".
PIVOT.
When I started out on this blog, the main focus was motherhood. I had really struggled in the first few months with breastfeeding and postpartum depression, and so I vowed to myself that I would share my story. And that's what I did. It has been humbling to see how many women have said they were inspired, touched, or felt less alone as a result of me sharing that vulnerable part of my journey. So at that time, October 2018 (when this blog was birthed), that was the vision. But what I didn't expect was where I am now. The crossroads between finding yourself, evolving beyond what you saw back then and where you dream of being. I thought my vision was purely motherhood-based, but I've come realise that it's more than that. If I'm completely honest with you sis, I was afraid to 'pivot', because I was afraid that people would no longer identify with me, or somehow me expanding beyond 'mummy content' would be a disservice to the people who follow me purely for that. But if you look at what I just said, it's all been about 'my' thoughts and perception of what people will think. But over time, I really have come to realise that my overall 'why' hasn't changed, and that is to: inspire, encourage and share my truth, regardless of the stage of life I'm at.
And that may look like me sharing about 'deep stuff' like anxiety, but also the 'light-hearted stuff' like my favourite summer dresses.
Pivot
noun
1.the central point, pin, or shaft on which a mechanism turns or oscillates.
verb
1.turn on or as if on a pivot.
Sis, I really began to free myself from the 'people-pleaser' mentality when I stopped obsessing over what everyone else was thinking and focused on actually just living. Another very important point to note is that a mindset change won't be an over-night process, and if I'm completely honest with you, you will have days where you couldn't care less about what people think of you, and others where you just want to hide and never be seen. That is normal. But we have to strive to release ourselves of that burden. You were NOT created to 'appeal to','please them', 'change their mind on'... You were created to shine light in darkness, to share your experiences, learn, pivot, evolve and flourish!
Whilst it's so important to remember the vision (the reason you started), the 'why'... don't be afraid to pivot, people. Remember: when you write down that vision, it doesn't have to stop at one bullet point. Make a whole list. Life is a journey; you will like different things, you will change your mind (yes, that is okay too!) and you will evolve. Give yourself permission to do so.
EVOLVE.
Evolve
verb
1.develop gradually.
Similar: develop, progress, advance.
I recently shared this post over on my instagram stories (@simplydeborah) by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and it said:
"Motherhood is a glorious gift, but don't define yourself solely by motherhood. Be a full person. Your child will benefit from that."
And it hit me. I have put a lot of my self-worth in my titles: wife, mother, university graduate, pharmacist etc. but I've been hiding. Hiding behind these titles for some sort of validation. But I am more than these titles, and you are more than yours! You and I are made up of so many epic, inspirational experiences. We have so many gifts and talents, so why not allow ourselves to fully BE! Let me explain that a little deeper.
So, as you know, I'm a mum to my beautiful baby boy, Ethan (and I feel so blessed to have such a responsibility), but I also love the simple things like fashion and makeup! I'm a pharmacist, but I also love to write and sing. I'm a wife (and love my husband immensely) but we also enjoy working on things that we are passionate about separately. And that is OKAY. You are allowed to be you and just that. No titles attached. But like I said, these things take time. You will develop “gradually”. You will learn to love the little quirks that make you YOU and not just mum. And that takes time but you will get there if you work at it.
FLOURISH.
Flourish
verb
1.(of a living organism) grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly congenial environment.
Similar: grow, thrive, prosper.
The definition speaks for itself: To develop in a healthy way as a result of a pleasing environment. To GROW, THRIVE and PROSPER.
In order to develop in a healthy way, we must be full beings. We have to learn to listen to our bodies and give ourselves the down-time we need. Yes, we have our many responsibilities, but we can't forget that 'all talked' topic of self-care!
Ladies, in order to fully bloom, remember: we must take care of us, too...
I hope this has freed someone today and encouraged you that it's okay to change your mind, evolve, take care of YOU and just live your best life – and make no apologies for it!
See you next time...
Love Always,
Simply Deborah
xo