• Deborah Charles-Nelson

'The Balancing Act: Marriage and Motherhood'

It can be very difficult balancing work, being a mum, and being a wife. Oftentimes, as a new mum, it’s so easy to fuss and (almost) obsess over our babies, and forget the first love of our lives.

I truly believe that to keep your marriage thriving you have to be intentional.

Intentional about communicating our feelings.

Intentional about making time to hang out together.

Intentional about praying together.

Intentional about carrying out sweet gestures that you know would make your partner's day.

e.g. write a note saying “I love you”, buy flowers for your wife, make your hubby a nice meal. Being intentional when having a child becomes a necessity, because you have to exercise balance.

Accept the season you are in. In the same breath, it’s important to acknowledge the season you are in – realise that it may be a little tough, and ‘date nights’ etc. may not always work. Remember to forgive yourself easily. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Communication is key. After having a baby, your hormones are up and down, and you may not be in the right mental space to be intimate with your husband. But, it is crucial that you are honest about it and communicating how you feel. A loving and understanding husband will be fine with it, as long as they're aren't left in the dark.

Keep Dating in Marriage. Try to make time for ‘date night’. If you can, organise for family to look after the kids, in order for you and your spouse to reconnect. If that's not possible, have a ‘mini date night’ once baby is asleep; enjoy a tasty meal, a good film and enjoy each other.

Make time for some alone time. It’s important that, as mothers, we also take time to look after ourselves. If I'm honest, sometimes I get so caught up in motherhood and general house maintenance that I find myself in a hair bonnet and 'loungewear' all day long! But do pamper yourself once in a while and dress up. When you feel good, your partner will 'know it'.

Pray for each other. And pray together. God is the only keeper of a marriage, and as long as He is the centre of your relationship you'll be just fine!