• Deborah Charles-Nelson

'A Letter to My Anxious Mamas...'

Updated: Sep 5, 2019

Dear Mama,

To my worried-over-breastfeeding mamas: I know you worry over your baby's nutrition; maybe you couldn't breastfeed, or your little one is a fussy eater. But it's okay, formula isn't the worst thing in the world, and maybe try disguising your kid's veggies by blending them into his/her favourite meals. If they're growing, happy and thriving, that's what really matters.

To my guilty-about-working mamas: I have to work, but I feel guilty about leaving my house. Wondering "have they eaten properly?", "will he nap at the regular time?" or "does she even realise I'm not there?". Worries, worries, worries and questions upon questions swirl around your head, mama I know... but, be still. It's fine. They are fine. When you get home, greet them with the warmest hug, tell them how much you love them, make the absolute most out of the days you get to spend together, take lots and lots of pictures and remember boss mama, you are doing it all for them!

To my territorial mamas:

I get it. Not wanting to leave your child with someone who you're not too sure about, or who has questionable morals. But being overly territorial can leave you feeling alone and overwhelmed when you have to do it all yourself. I know it may feel good to say "I did that" but not at the expense of your sanity! Accept help from loved ones you trust, and allow yourself some time to recharge...

To my fuss-over-each-milestone mamas: "When will he start walking?", "but she hasn't rolled over and she's 6 months!", "when will he start talking?", "should she be babbling more than she is?" are some of the questions that plague you. Daily you take baby by the hand and guide them whilst desperately trying to get them to reach a new milestone. To make things worse, you Google everything! It's the worst thing possible, basically the equivalent to Google-ing a stomach ache and getting a thousand search responses for bowel cancer! Don't. Do. It.

Remember: it is not a race! There is no cash prize for the youngest baby to crawl. And don't fall into that trap of comparing your child to someone else's. There's no rush, and no one is keeping score. If your baby's healthcare visitor or midwife is happy with their progress and you can see it too, then it's all good. Just remember these words: "all in good time my friend, every child is different". I know you've heard that a lot, but it is true: when it's time, it's time, and when it's all said and done you'll probably be wishing they could stop growing up so fast! So mama, let's appreciate milestones like: you finally do not worry about whether your baby ate enough, or if they actually listened to anything you said during the bedtime-read routine. Let's celebrate when we trust our instincts and follow that 'mama-intuition' we had too little faith in. And remember, if you are happy, so are they. So... SMILE damnit! :)

Simply Deborah