• Deborah Charles-Nelson

2019 Life Lessons

Updated: Dec 17, 2019

So it has sort of become tradition to write one of these when the year draws to a close. And in a roundabout way it reminds me of everything I've been able to conquer so far, and everything I need to remember and learn from to crush next year's goals.

Lesson 1

You don't have to wait for 'perfect conditions' to make a start on your goals.

This lesson is definitely easier said than done, but we must silence our inner critic and press forward towards our goals. How we critique ourselves plays a huge part in the overall outcome, and I am a strong believer in manifestation; that if you believe in something enough it will happen:

"She believed she could, so she did!"

But most importantly, you have to make a start, and that start may not be a perfect one. It may be full of blunders, but all the greatest success stories began somewhere, right?

Listen, I've been guilty of this myself, so you aren't alone. At times, I found myself overthinking a situation, a picture on instagram, a blog post etc. so much so, I decided not to publish it. Crazy, I know, but that's the power of overthinking and being a perfectionist. Often times you hear people using the term 'perfectionist' to describe themselves like it's a badge of honour...but is it? Remember, there's a difference between quality and perfection. And now I try to self-reflect rather than overthink, that way I problem-solve as I'm moving forward, instead of obsessing over every detail to the point where I'm stagnant. Remember: sometimes done rather than perfect is good enough.

Lesson 2

Failure is necessary for growth

This year has taught me that you evolve with every decision or mistake made. Going into my second year of being a first-time mum has required a lot of resilience and a lot of trial and error, especially when it came to breastfeeding, discipline and teaching my son. It was and still is a journey of finding what works and what doesn't. For example, breastfeeding was extremely difficult, but that process was necessary for my growth and resilience as a mum. That process taught me that it's okay to not be perfect the first time around and that I am no less of a good mum or woman because of it! Even when it came to particular career ventures, some worked and some didn't, but the great thing about mistakes is that you can learn from them for the next attempt, but you must keep going.

Lesson 3

Sometimes you outgrow situations and relationships, and that's okay.

I saw a quote that said:

"It's okay to forgive people and still deny them access to you."

And I couldn't agree more. This year has made me realise that I have to protect my mindset and peace at all costs. 'Friends' who drain your energy or joy aren't your friends, sis. If you've been hurt in a relationship (either a romantic or platonic one), yes, you should forgive because forgiveness is for you, but you don't need to have them in your space. This year I have learnt it's my duty to protect my energy.

Lesson 4

Vulnerability shows strength, not weakness

I used to think that being vulnerable was weak, something I prided myself on not being. But becoming a mum and starting this blog has shown me that there is indeed strength in vulnerability. Being open about the times you made mistakes or struggled gives you your power back over those very things that made you feel helpless, because you're no longer hiding in shame about it, you learned from it and you're using your experience to help prevent others from making those same mistakes. Even in our relationships with our spouses, vulnerability is essential. You have to be able to get to the most hidden parts of yourself to be able to let someone in fully, and that's were you begin to develop trust in the relationship.

A few other lessons I've learnt along the way:

5. Self-care is essential to creating a happy environment for you and your loved ones. Self-care is more than the cute quote-posts on Instagram and it's more than a 30-minute pedicure. Self-care is not self-indulgence, but rather self-rejuvenation; allowing your family to get the best of you and not what is left of you.

6. Forgive Yourself Easily.

Don't get bogged down with routines and 'to-do lists'. Some things won't go plan ,and that's okay.

7. Morning Meditation and Daily Affirmations are the perfect way to start off your day.

8. Trust your intuition, it was placed there for a reason.

9. Go at your own pace and don't compare your journey to anyone else's.

10. Enjoy the journey.

Now over to you. What are some of your 2019 life lessons? I love hearing from you! Sign in and comment below, drop me an email over at deborahcharlesnelson@gmail.com or a DM over on Instagram @simplydeborah.

Sending you nothing but positive vibes for the new year!

Bring on 2020!

Lots of Love,

Simply Deborah