• Deborah Charles-Nelson

'2018 Life Lessons'

'Adult-ing' is hard!

From managing my finances with maternity pay (which is minuscule btw) to balancing marriage and motherhood. This year has forced me to grow up in every way possible lol.

"All that glitters is not gold!"

I've learnt not to believe what I see in the online 'highlight reel'. Comparison often causes us to focus on all the dissimilarities, and this can make you frustrated or feel as if you don't measure up. But I also think about all the photos I posted on social media that in no way depicted what I was going through behind closed doors. I am learning to mind my business, follow my own journey and trust the process.

Not everyone is going to like you or the way you do things, and THAT IS OKAY.

Looking back, I've realised that I have lived a lot of my life trying to please those around me so much so that I wasn't being my authentic self. Remember, if they don't like you, someone else will! Can I get an “AMEN”?!

To be more organised.

Being a new mum has taught me the importance of planning, routines and making lists (baby brain is real y'all). This means I am less stressed out and as a result so is my baby. But also not to be too hard on myself if I don't complete everything on my list.

To be less critical of myself.

I am my own worst critic, but I'm learning to cut myself some slack. Even though all your goals for 2018 may not be complete, you have come so far! More so, God is the author of time, and it will happen for you when the time is right.

You are good enough and stronger than you think.

After a traumatic birthing experience and battling with self confidence after birth, I have learnt that I am more resilient than I thought, and that I am worthy of self love. My body did an amazing thing, giving birth to a healthy 8½ lbs baby boy. I am proud of this body! Yes, I am not perfect, but I am my own kind of beautiful. Embrace all of you, even the imperfections, because they give you character!

Make time for you!

Take a long shower or make time to get your nails done (or what ever recreational activity you fancy). Your family will thank you for it later. As a first-time mum, I battled with so much mummy guilt. So much so that I was neglecting myself and my mental state. Remember to be gentle and kind to yourself, so you can be the best version of you for yourself and your family.

You have the power to change your situation.

It may sound silly, but just being able to lose 50+ lbs in 5 months has reminded me that with determination and hard-work you can achieve your goals.

With that being said, I've learnt to believe in myself and trust my instincts.

Being a mum has taught me that sometimes the 'rule or the norm' doesn't always work for me. My struggles with breastfeeding was a great example of this.

I've learnt to ask for help and that I am not alone.

2018 made me realise that I never truly trusted that someone else could truly help me. Often times, I would be the girl that my friends confide in, so I found it hard to reach out myself. But I am realising that it is okay to say you need help. There's always someone you can talk to; family, friends, co-workers, counsellors, God. Do not suffer in silence.

I've learnt not to take myself so seriously and to laugh more, slow down and enjoy the moment. There were so many moments this year where I would be worrying about all the things I need to get done that I would forget to enjoy 'the now'. Don't wait for tomorrow to start living! Live your best life!

I've learnt to cherish every stage of my journey because it is unique and beautiful and mine! Remember, on your journey there will be hurdles and valleys, but you can get through them. Tomorrow is a new day, and joy comes in the morning! Remember, you have everything you need to overcome and succeed inside of you! And I encourage you going into 2019, to remind yourself of the amazing qualities you have, and utilise them!

Simply Deborah xo