In the fall of 2018, I was a wreck.
I'd just given birth to my son – which should have been the most exciting time in my life – however, in the subsequent months I found myself anxious and depressed. In those moments, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt, because I had dreams of the 'amazing mum' I hoped I would be and felt that I was falling short in a big way.
Most days I felt weak and empty --- my body was present, I was doing the best I could for my son, but my mind felt vacant. I would find myself too anxious to sleep, but also too anxious to wake up. My emotions were like a whirlwind; I knew in my heart that I loved my son so much, but my mind felt drained and my body would tense up with worry daily. I felt like I wasn't in control of my body or my mind, but in the middle of that haze, something deep within me urged me to ask my spouse to pray for me (because I didn't feel that I could pray at the time). As he began to pray, I began to cry out to God — I don't think there were even words — just a soul crying out for help.
Whatever the cause for the anxiety that you battle with: maybe the fear of not being a good mum, or anxiousness based on past family trauma, God's love is great enough to heal your pain and worries – just put them under the subjection of your Father in Heaven and He will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28-29
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
Use those anxious moments that you experience each day as opportunities and reminders to cast your anxiety and worries unto God. It's an opportunity to speak with Him so that He can guide you on what to do next.
Philippians 4:6-7 MSG
"Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the centre of your life".
Proverbs 3:3 AMP
"Though you may be worried don't forget to be kind and merciful to others:
Do not let mercy and kindness and truth leave you [instead let these qualities define you]; Bind them [securely] around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart".
Proverbs 3:5-6 AMP
"Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognise Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way]".
Proverbs 3:24 AMP
"When you lie down, you will not be afraid; When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet".
Isaiah 60:1-2 AMP
"Though you may be worried don't forget to be kind and merciful to others:
Do not let mercy and kindness and truth leave you [instead let these qualities define you]; Bind them [securely] around your neck, rite them on the tablet of your heart".deep darkness will cover the peoples; But the Lord will rise upon you. And His glory and brilliance will be seen on you".
Begin to speak into manifestation that you arise from spiritual depression and anxiety. Start to see yourself rising as you inhale and exhale slowly, but with intention. Begin to feel the peace of God blow over you and ARISE within you. Feel the sun rays and the brilliance of God shine upon you as you slowly and peacefully inhale and exhale.
Joshua 1:9
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go," (Joshua 1:9).
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God," (Isaiah 41:10).
Philippians 4:19
"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus".
Prayer
Lord Jesus, thank You for Your unchanging love and that nothing is to hard or impossible for You. Father, help me to fix my eyes on You instead of my worries or fears. Lord, help me to find rest and peace in You, for: "[Your] yoke is easy and [Your] burden is light". I love You, and today I choose to set my focus on You.
Affirmations
1. I have peace of mind.
2. I focus on God and leave all my worries at the foot of Jesus.
3. My mind is at rest.
4. I trade anxiety for peace and confusion for clarity IJN.
Wherever you are right now, whatever time of day it is when you're reading or listening to this; may your soul find rest and may your mind experience the divine peace of God.
Simply Deborah
xo